1. How did you decide to create the Recovering Racists Network (RRN) and the RRN badges?
In my current career as an independent meeting planner, I organize national and international conferences for my mostly non-profit clients. Mainly I take my client’s vision and make it a reality. Most of the conferences I have planned had as their goal inspiring a positive change in the world or at least a part of it. As the date of the 1994 International Transpersonal Association conference approached, I was pondering what world issue we could next tackle. Since the ITA events are international in scope, I tried to think of the most universal dilemmas facing the world at the time. I thought of racism, as this seemed to be the spark of many of the world’s conflicts. To express the topic even more universally, I asked myself, "what is the root of racism?" I decided that a topic of "Overcoming Intolerance" would encompass racism and even more. I could not think of any nation, region, or culture that did not have a problem with intolerance.
As I worked with the concept of overcoming intolerance, I became excited and impatient. I realized that it would take a long time to properly prepare a conference on such an important topic. I wondered what I could do right away to start making a change in the pervasive field of world intolerance. I looked to my heroes for inspiration. I envisioned Gandhi in my shoes. I remembered that he always started with himself. He took personal responsibility.
How was I responsible? A childhood experience comes to mind. When I was young, my aunt Alice was a substitute parent for all of her nieces and nephews. Now, close to 80, she still drives over a hundred miles a week to clean the houses of her sisters. Additionally, she volunteers as a patient advocate at two hospitals and helps at a local nursery school. Along her trek of service, she always finds ways to help others of all races, creeds, and income. She always finds good in people. I saw her as one of the world’s great caretakers, the Mother Theresa of aunts.
When I was a child, Alice, almost every week, took me, my sisters, and my cousins to the zoo, the park, the circus, the movies, or other fun kid places. Each spring Alice ritually treated us and our noses to Pittsburgh’s beautiful spring flower show at the Phipp’s Conservatory. Upon exiting the show one year when I was eight or nine, my cousin and I, running ahead of the clan, found and picked up for analysis a smoldering cigarette butt. When "Saint Alice," helper of all beings (of all colors) saw us, she protectively exclaimed, "put that down, some nigger might have been smoking it." This was not the south, not the 1930’s; this was the 60’s, and this was Alice.
Thirty years later in 1996, I related this memory to my mother. Since I had never heard the "N" word uttered by her or my father, I wondered if she, because she was much younger than my aunt, managed to avoid the subtle racist programming during her upbringing. To my shock, my mother said that, she "was not prejudiced," but she believed that "blacks on welfare just did not want to work." After she spouted a few more classic racist myths, I got the picture.
Looking back at that incident and a few others since, I realized that the roots of intolerance and racism are in all of us. The seeds are planted and pollinated by our families and communities. Contrary to what the talk shows may indicate, rarely are these seeds a conscious attempt to promote racism in our children. In most of us "good people," these seeds sprout into a thick foliage that blocks our view of the pain we create when we accept institutional racism, make racist comments, and avoid confronting prejudicial myths. This racism will not leave us on its own. We must name it and personally do battle with this inner enemy.
The most commonly heard statement from white Americans when confronted with the issue of racism is "I am not a racist, but . . ." I want to say "I am a racist, and I am trying to change."
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2. What do you say to those who say that "they" must change too?
I have often heard people say "I will not change until ‘they’ change or unless ‘they’ change." I think this expresses the complexity of all conflict situations. Many people are afraid to make a decision to take unilateral responsibility for racism. The hardest thing for "good" people to feel is that they are responsible for causing pain in other human beings. Even the KKK and Skinhead groups have to dehumanize their targets of attack.
While I feel I have had some childhood and adult experiences which help me relate to racial oppression, I, unlike Steve Martin, was not born a "poor black child." I have never had the experience of being stopped and questioned by the police just because of my race. Every African-American that I have spoken to has had this type of experience. I cannot speak for any other race than my own. In fact, I try not to speak for others of my race; rather I try to speak only for myself.
When whites and people of other races reach confrontational levels in discussions on racism, a Euro-American will almost invariably say "Don’t blame me . . ." Often this is followed by "I did not enslave your ancestors" or a similar statement disclaiming responsibility. My goal is to be strong enough to say "blame me." I think that blaming is an important step in the healing process. It helps victims of racism express and release their justified anger at the personal and institutional racism that has and still is effecting them. It also helps them understand that their feelings of low self-worth are not accurate and not their fault. These "less-than" feelings which they likely have internalized are a natural effect of living in a racist culture. Blame and acceptance of the blame are part of the natural path to forgiveness and vital for our joint recovery from racism and our battle to overcome intolerance. For my part, I want to find and maintain the strength to say "Blame me. Even though I personally did not enslave your great-grandparents, I am not completely free of the thoughts and patterns of actions and words that were implanted in me by my parents and grandparents that do still enslave you today." Accepting this blame, like wearing the RRN badge, serves me personally by helping me remember that I have more work to do.
3. "Recovering" Racist sounds a bit like a twelve-step program. Is there any connection?
The main difference is that RRN is totally non-anonymous. Unlike "anonymous" recovery groups, RRN feels that public admittance of our racist shortcomings aids in individual recovery and is vital to ending racism in our culture. RRN does take one of its key principles from twelve-step style "recovery" groups by stating that we cannot vanquish the racism within ourselves unless and until we first accept and admit to ourselves that we hold this racism within us and take responsibility for our own recovery.
4. How often do people who buy an RRN badge actually wear it?
I do not know. It is much harder for people to wear the badge than it is to buy one. Both have value. I want to leave this totally up to them. I do not want to be a fundamentalist anti-racist. When I do wear the RRN badge, I do not actively promote RRN. I only speak about it when someone asks. I try to avoid making others feel guilty for their disbelief in these ideas, because I feel that guilt is an ineffective motivation for positive human action. Change made out of guilt does not last. I do not wear my RRN badge every time I go out. Some days I just do not feel strong enough to wear it.
A major fear that people speak about is a fear that people of other races will be offended by the RRN badge. I have found that the opposite is actually true. I have received only positive responses from people of non-European heritage.
5. How does wearing the RRN badge effect you?
First it makes me pay attention. Every time I glance down at my badge I become much more aware of both subtle racism and the potential for racism in society. Wearing the badge also makes me a little uncomfortable. I notice that some people look at me differently or act a little differently around me when I wear the badge. Some, of course, ask me about the RRN badge.
After a few times of experiencing this contrast between the responses of people when I was wearing the RRN badge and when I was not wearing the badge, I started to realize that I was experiencing a slight and subtle form of badge-induced pseudo-racism. I think this feeling of a little bit of racism will help me "recover" more quickly. In exploring my feelings about this, I noticed that there was a bit of "power in being uncomfortable." Because it was my choice to put myself in this situation, which could promote an uncomfortable response, it seemed easier to step back and watch myself having the interaction. This practice gave me a feeling of strength and an expectation that I may be able to be equally secure in other uncomfortable situations not of my doing.
Also when I first started wearing the RRN badge, I actually felt more uncomfortable around people of other races. This feeling is passing but is still present somewhat. Before I started wearing the RRN Badge, I rarely thought about how racism effects me and others. Now, when I put on the RRN Badge, I do not forget to think about white privilege and racism.
I will make this guarantee: If you wear an RRN Badge, you will learn something about yourself.
6. How do you know when you are a "recovered racist?"
I know that I am not yet there. Once I did have a glimpse of what it may be like.
A few years back, a gay friend of mine living in Dublin had been telling me that he was thinking of moving to San Francisco. More recently, however, he met and started a relationship with a man he met in Dublin. We never really discussed whether his new love had changed his desire to move. When I met him and his lover during his trip to a conference in Santa Clara, I asked him when he was going to move to the Bay Area. Almost instantly I felt foolish. I realized that my comment, in front of his lover, was insensitive to the possibility that he may have changed his mind, or worse, that this may be a bone of contention between them. I later apologized and expressed the hope that my comment had not caused any problems. It had not.
Although I was embarrassed by my faux pas, I later saw a hidden gift within this situation. I had unconsciously and automatically responded to that situation and treated my friend and his lover exactly as I would have if they were a heterosexual couple. For that one moment, I was automatically treating this couple as a couple, not treating them differently because the they were a "homosexual couple."
7. What other surprises have you had since you have been wearing the badge?
I had an expectation that people would express the most interest in the RRN badge when I wore it to church or to workshops related to helping others. I assumed that people at those places and events would naturally be interested in helping to end racism and thus interested in the RRN badge. Actually very seldom do people comment on the badge at these locations. The badge has garnered most interest and sales from people during my everyday travels to the store or the movies or other regular places. This gives me hope that there are a lot of everyday folks ready to help end racism.
8. Is there any difference in the responses from different age groups?
Although my limited experience is not enough to be considered statistically significant, I have noticed that young people between the ages of about 16 and 26 are the only ones to date that have misinterpreted the badge to mean that I was a former KKK member or Skinhead. Not all in that group have made this error, but it is the only age group that did. Younger children, especially those who have had some form of racism awareness discussions in school, have bought the badge. A few adults have been defensive, with the expected comment that they are not "racists." Most people, many more than I originally expected, understand immediately what the RRN badge is about.
9. How do responses to the RRN badge differ from people of different races?
My experience has been that people of African, Asian and all non-European races have universally given positive responses to the badge. I was surprised at how many African-Americans have purchased badges. Some said that they were buying the RRN badge to give to white friends or spouses.
10. You seem to direct the badges sales to Euro-Americans. Are you saying that only whites can be racists?
This is the "question of fire." I believe that the RRN principles can be applied internationally, and I try to avoid statements that target only American whites as racists. I do however feel that racism requires "prejudice combined with power" and believe that whites in North America and Europe are in a unique position to have the power to turn their prejudice into racism. Afro-Americans could act as racists on a small scale in a specific community where they were in the majority and held positions of power in politics. However, it would be hard to find a minority community in the U.S. sufficiently autonomous to pull off any significant racism.
I was once refused admittance to a workshop on the "Psychology or Sound and Color" that was organized by a lesbian community in the town where I was living. I was told that the workshop was full and that if I did not have a reservation, I could not enter. A little later, I found out that there were no reservations for this workshop and that lesbians who arrived later than I did were admitted.
This group, the lesbian workshop organizers, had the power to put their prejudice into action by excluding me from their event. Undoubtedly they each had experienced discrimination because of being lesbians. Now they had the power, and in their own small way chose to exert it by committing gender-based racism, maybe as a form of payback. Just before the workshop started, a lesbian friend arrived and when she learned of my predicament, she told the workshop leaders that she would not attend and that I should be allowed to attend in her place. They admitted us both.
11. Have you had any personal experience that helped you develop a sensitivity to racism?
Most people, especially women, are surprised and appear shocked when they hear that as a child I was persecuted by other children for being a red-head. I had bright orange hair.
I remember dodging rocks thrown from the backyards of the houses on the streets above my home. The pelting was accompanied by chants of "I'd rather be dead that red on the head," or "red on the head like a dick on a dog." Until adulthood, I rarely heard my given name unless being called on by an authority figure or my parents. To other children and most adults, I was known as "red," or "orange," or "rust," or "flame," or "corrosion," or "acid head," or "son of red beard." I was the one who was picked last for team sports, the one who was available to harass when harassing was the mood de jour of the neighborhood boys. I did not relate this to racism until in my late thirties I started therapy with an African-American therapist. As I spoke of my childhood, he pointed out the resemblance of my memories to the childhood stories of minority children. I then realized that in my community of all-white, mostly Catholic kids, I was, to borrow a title from the Flannery O'Conner short story, "An Artificial Nigger."
I am tempted to laugh now when I hear the overt racists, KKK, skinheads, and the like, say that their problems will be solved when they rid their community of non-whites. If we could ship these overt racists off to an all-white fantasy island, I am sure that we would soon see small groups band together and don their sheets to rid the island of the "long nosed" ones or the "short fingered" ones. As the oft-used Pogo quote advises, "we have met the enemy and it is us."
While this red-headed prejudice gave me a glimpse of organized oppression, I want to be clear not to give the impression that I feel that this experience could come close to the experience of black or other minorities' long history of oppression and racism.
12. What else can people do to help themselves to recover from racism?
One of the most important and helpful practices for me has been a deep exploration of an "awareness of rank." This practice I learned from reading the book, "Sitting In The Fire," by Arnold Mindell. Mindell states "Rank is drug. The more you have, the less you are aware of how it effects others negatively." He refers not only to the overt experience of rank, boss over employee or parent over child, but also, and maybe more importantly, the subtle and at times transitory forces of rank. For example, at times a disabled person may be of a lower rank while trying to enter a building without accessibility ramps. However, as a group, disabled Americans have used their rank as activists to inspire lawmakers to pass accessibility laws. Other examples of subtle and transitory rank may include driver and bicyclist, smoker and non-smoker, educated persons and those with less education. Rank can shift back and forth many times a day in a marriage. Rank issues are particularly prominent but often overlooked in discussions about affirmative action.
Once I became aware of the concept of rank and focused on it, I found it easy see and I could list many forms which rank takes in my life each and every day. After becoming aware of rank, we might be tempted to think that we would be better off in a society without rank. I agree with Mindell when he says that "Rank is not inherently bad, and the abuse of rank is not inevitable. When you are aware of rank, you can use it to your own benefit and the benefit of others as well." Exploring issues of rank have dramatically changed my view of power and conflict. It has helped me be much less judgmental and become a foundation for a deeper understanding of the effects of racism.
One of the sad but most common truths about rank issues is that in most situations, the person of higher rank rarely is aware of the effect his/her rank has on those of lower rank. However, those of lower rank are almost always aware of how the ranking person's status is effecting them. Just listen in on the typical conversations in any employee lunch room. And then wonder if their boss is at lunch discussing his concern over how his six figure income effects the moral of administrative staff. Remembering this insight has been particularly helpful for maintaining my balance when someone's long suppressed anger arises during a discussion on racism.
Awareness often comes in surprising packets. One of the first surprising points of awareness came to me quite a few years back from a televised panel on racism issues moderated by Phil Donahue. Looking back, I think the was a turning point toward my current philosophy on racism. One of the African-American panel members pointed out that he felt certain comments that Phil made the panelist think that Phil like most white Americans in his opinion just wanted to be seen by Blacks and a "good white person." I was immediately struck with shame as I realized this is exactly what I wanted. I vowed from then on to look deeply at my motivations before trying to do "good things." I needed to discover the ways in which ending racism help all people, not just the victims of racism. More importantly it became clear that fighting racism with an unconscious or hidden agenda of being seen as a "good white person" was actually another form of marginelizing people of other races.
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